March 15, 2020 – Day 11 of social distancing at our house. Every decision our family is making is based on keeping all of the health care workers, food service workers, first responders, and delivery people as safe as possible. We are doing all we can to keep ourselves healthy because hospital space and medical supplies will run out soon. Anything that would be used by us or the people we would infect if we went public with germs will be available should the people who must be out there get sick and need them.
We are extremely fortunate – privileged – that my husband has a well paying tech job he can do anywhere. Privileged to descend from generations of white non-immigrants, allowing our parents to be well educated and employed so we could be as well.
Because we had the ability to do so and the insight of research from the brave folks at the Seattle flu study as well as people who knew people in Wuhan, it made sense to us to pull our kids from school as soon as my husband’s office highly recommended work from home. We then learned someone with a very early covid diagnosis was in his cafeteria the night before they fell ill. Fortunately, it has been almost 2 weeks with no symptoms. I read today that if you live anywhere with community spread, you must assume you are incubating the virus and are a risk to anyone within 6 feet of you. That is not a level of responsibility we take lightly. No wonder I have needed meditation so frequently.
While the content of anxiety can be extremely different, the emotion itself crosses all lines of privilege. We are working hard to be well supplied for a few weeks without hoarding and are privileged that we do not have anxiety around financially meeting our needs. The anxieties around supplies being available, family members getting sick and the general future of our civilization is rather universal. Thus I find myself in need of meditation once again.
Days 1-4 were rough for the kids but routine has helped. And really, the 11 year old obnoxiousness that has been driving me crazy for months seems to have evaporated without peer support – what’s not to celebrate? We have spent this time deepening our family relationships and learning together – online worksheets dividing fractions, writing essays in cursive, baking, workbooks and countless art projects. They have learned to clean things they didn’t know needed cleaning. The kids all have checklists to complete each day before the world “technology” can even be spoken. Things feel as stable as they can in the instability.
It’s reached a point where I feel the need to do more for my community than buying things for home bound folks. We have bought gift cards from restaurants we would go to but aren’t. We have paid in advance the people who would be working on our house but we told to stay away. We have had online cello and yoga lessons. We plan to do some outdoor home improvement projects to create employment that keeps people 6 feet away from one another. We have shopped online from the stores we would have normally gone to. All good things, but all lacking in connection.
My hope for connection is to offer my community a bit of meditation every day. I have had a strong daily practice for many years that takes anywhere from 20-60 minutes because that’s what I need to keep healthy in the swirly times. I don’t do well with the “sit and listen for God” or quiet your mind meditation. I do much better with body based meditations. I like to feel the presence and guidance of spirit and the part of me that is my purest soul self. I like to fill my body so completely with the feelings of those things, nothing else has space to grow. Each day – or every few, home school dependent – I hope to share a little something which may resonate and help others find peace in the midst of it all.
First Meditation – Grounding